In the beginning…

Write a hilarious parody of the first chapter of the Hebrew Bible.

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.

But then God looked upon the earth, and realized that it was pretty boring. So God created the plants and the animals, but quickly got bored with them too.

So then God had an idea: “Let us create man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.”

And so God created man, and woman, and they were naked, but they didn’t know it, because they hadn’t invented shame yet.

God looked upon his creation and saw that it was good, but he quickly got bored with the whole “perfect paradise” thing. So he decided to mess with Adam and Eve by planting a forbidden fruit tree in the middle of the garden.

And then God waited. And he watched. And he laughed, as Adam and Eve wandered innocently around the garden, oblivious to the tree in the center.

And then, one day, a serpent slithered up to Eve and said, “Hey, have you tried that fruit from the tree in the center of the garden?”

And Eve was like, “No, I haven’t. Should I?”

And the serpent was like, “Oh yeah, it’s amazing. You should totally try it.”

So Eve took a bite, and then she gave some to Adam, and suddenly they realized they were naked, and they felt really ashamed.

God watched from heaven, giggling to himself. “Gotcha!” he said, as he kicked Adam and Eve out of the garden.

And that, my friends, is how sin entered the world. Thanks, God.